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:iconimawriterwannabe: More from imawriterwannabe


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poetry by takozilla


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Submitted on
August 5, 2012
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172
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12 (who?)
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30
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She's so beautiful,
Her soft auburn hair over those deep green eyes,
When I look into them, I'm speechless.

She's so beautiful,
Her cheeks so round and soft,
Self conscious about her nose, but I think it's perfect.

She's so beautiful,
Her smile lights up my world,
I'd love to kiss her lips, have her tongue in my mouth.

She's so beautiful,
I'd love to hold her in my arms,
She might think she needs to shed some pounds, but I think she's flawless.

She's so beautiful,
Of course I love her from the outside,
But what she has on the inside, that's just as important.

She's so beautiful,
Completely dedicated to her music,
When I hear her play the sax, it sends shivers up my spine.

She's so beautiful,
A very smart student,
If I were a senior, I'd have her tutor me everyday.

She's so beautiful,
The kind of person I yearn to be,
Friendly, strong, compassionate and brave.

She's so beautiful,
She says she's got baggage,
I'd be her bell hop, anytime.

She's so beautiful,
I know about her past,
Bipolar and bisexual, but I think I might be too.

She's so beautiful,
I'd love her to be mine,
If only I was brave, I could tell her how I feel.

She's so beautiful,
I've never been so sure of anything in my life,
I love you, and I'd do anything for you.
Please critique, thanks!!
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:iconvampsaiyain:
vampsaiyain Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aww... She really must be special 😊
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
She's great :)
Reply
:iconvampsaiyain:
vampsaiyain Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aww... ☺
Reply
:iconhellslord:
hellslord Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Well it's powerful...
Unfortunately being not a native english speaker I'm not able to fully appreciate the meter... But I can see that every tercet has a longer verse and a shorter one so I try to imagine the right way to read it... I like it! :)

Congrats! :)
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much (:
Reply
:iconhellslord:
hellslord Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
Most welcome! :)
Reply
:iconreinareinareina3:
ReinaReinaReina3 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Awwwww!!!!! How sweet! :iconmonkeyloveplz: :iconawwwplz:
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hehe thanks (:
Reply
:iconlexipalms:
LexiPalms Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really really enjoy this one! I think its very moving and as usual very beautiful! :)
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much (:
Reply
:iconlexipalms:
LexiPalms Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No Problem this is really amazing!
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, I feel like I say thanks all the time haha, but really, thanks (:
Reply
:iconlexipalms:
LexiPalms Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconhatariwildman:
HATARIwildman Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student Artist
this is so moving and beautiful she woiuld be so lucky and blessed to have you
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much (:
Reply
:iconhatariwildman:
HATARIwildman Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student Artist
no problem
Reply
:iconbluewolfpups:
bluewolfpups Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
i love the imagery(i can't really spell lol) and i can actully see her
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! She's so beautiful.
Reply
:iconbluewolfpups:
bluewolfpups Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
i bet lol
Reply
:iconlilimeitys:
Lilimeitys Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really like this one nice work:clap:
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much (:
Reply
:iconlilimeitys:
Lilimeitys Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your very welcome=D
Reply
:iconrebelliouselite99:
RebelliousElite99 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
Gosh, judging from the authenticity of this writing, it's like everything in it is an experience you've dealted with--and a good poet knows that the best poems come from the victims! Well done! :clap:
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much (: This girl really is something wonderful
Reply
:iconrebelliouselite99:
RebelliousElite99 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
Well then, I hope you can attract her attention one day! =D
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks (:
Reply
:iconangelofthebroken:
AngelOfTheBroken Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's so sweet! Nice job. =D
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much (:
Reply
:icongeek4life14:
geek4life14 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
good job! ^^ I like it!
Reply
:iconimawriterwannabe:
imawriterwannabe Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
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